i remember the summer before high school, i was at Duke tip, at davidson, and after the three weeks, i cried pretty hard when i left, like my life had ended, and that was just a three week camp.    after that, i realized that time just goes by, and that i needed to cherish all my moments, and how glad i was to be young, and full of potential

and didn’t really feel much before i went to the ncssm, and at the end of ncssm, i honestly thought i was gonna be torn up. i mean, i was torn when my seniors left and i only knew like 5 lol.  so i counted days, but in the manner that I wanted more days. the idea of me slowly losing youth, killed me.  When they day came, i was just, tired, thoughts ran through my head, and i didn’t know what to think, but my natural reaction was not just to tear up, which i did, but not so easily as i thought I would.  I felt out of mind, and like i wasn’t myself, like it didn’t matter much.

and now a whole semester of college has gone by, and i still feel this way. i’m like damn, did that shit even happen, 

idk I’m just rambling

I guess what I’m trying to say is, its crazy how time goes by.  How much has happened in just 5 years.  how i completed ncssm. north neck. met people, and lost them just as quickly.  and time is only going faster, and it seems like i only can care, less and less. 

and its frustrating, because i want to be able to remember things from my past, and feel them over again, I wish i had a diary, where i can read my thoughts, from 9th, 10th, 11, 12th, watch myself grow.  cuz eventually, ill probably, not care and lose it

maybe if i had some God in me, that i knew these things i did had greater meaning, that i would have really felt the magnitude of leaving ncssm, and other steps in my life.

i guess thats why i started a tumblr, never too late to start

yea I’m on that pussy bitch shit